THANK GOD YOU'VE DECIDED TO READ THIS!  THIS IS AN URGENT BLOG PEOPLE! Recently, a problem with some American hotel guests has been discovered.  They were gullible enough break hotel room windows and try to jump out of them after being told to do so by prank callers posing as the front desk telling them of a gas leak in their room.   There have even been reports of people activating hotel sprinkler systems after being told of a fire.  Yet the hotel's smoke alarms weren't going off at the time!  So thus I must warn all Runnerspacers out there of a dangerous amount of gullible people out there!  Action needs to be taken immediately by you NOW!  Follow my 10-step instructions below and you will survive this unhealthy amount of gullibility!  Do exactly as I say!  Don't ask questions no matter how f'ed up my instructions are! :P Are you paying attention?  Has all logic been drained out of you?  GOOD!  Here we go.

1.  First, drink a gallon of your own piss.  If somebody in the fist Jackass movie did then so can you!  Especially since this is an emergency people!

2.  Smash all your windows in your house and throw all your furniture out of them!  Too bad if the sofa is too heavy!  Do you want to save the strain on your back or do you want to survive mass amounts of gullibility!

3.  Pour battery acid down your pants.  Preferably acid from Duracell batteries.  Why Duracell?  Because when some assholes decide to trick people into trashing hotels and they need a reliable battery to power their un-tracable phones and they only battery they trust is Duracell!   INSPIRATIONAL ISN'T IT!

4.  Stab yourself in the crotch with a javelin.  This will be painful but at least it will get your mind off the worse pain of knowing that people can beleive all this shit!

5.  Go dive into a sewage pond!  JUST DO IT!

6.  Streak through your neighborhood and scream "Who loves ya' baby" over and over again!  No really, you need to ask this question to find out who loves you in this world.  Because, unfortunately, some people out there love falling for ridiculous pranks more than they love you.

7.  Fire a loaded cannon aimed at your groin.  You're probably wondering if you should use an iron or graphite cannon ball for this step.  SURPRISE ME!

8.  Try to hump a grizzly bear.  Bet you never ever thought innocent "Bear Hugs" could ever be associated with anything X-rated.  THINK AGAIN!  

9.  Go to Michael Vick's house and punch one of his dogs.  Don't worry, they're used to that kind of abuse so they by all means should not maul you to death in response.

10. Take a nice relaxing nap on a well-used railroad line.  Just let that soothing sound of the speeding oncoming train's whistle relax you to a nice deep sleep!

Did you get all of that?  GOOD!  Did you not get all of that?  Well then I feel sorry for you because you must live with the pain of being wiser than the average American!  Well, I've gotta go get started on all these steps before I become victim of the recent mass gullibility.  So take this blog seriously! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! RED-ALERT!  BE AFRAID!  ACT QUICKLY!  and have a nice day. :-P