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Totally Ridiculous Absoultely Non-necessary Shit-cheap Food Additive Trash abbr. TRANS FAT (XP)

Published by
empb28   Aug 27th 2008, 11:21pm
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What do cakes, cookies, doughnuts, crackers, potato chips, some breads, and salad dressings have in common?  A lot apparently.  They're all great tasting and they often appear at parties or other social gatherings. But sadly (And I mean sadly like the fact that 94/7 FM played L.E.S. Artistes by Santogold THREE FUCKING TIMES IN ONE FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  all these goodies and treats contain one recently-decalered TOXIC ingredient.  That, my fellow Runnerspacers, is Trans Fat.  Yes, you're probably wanting to stop reading this and aviod another dose of ranting about how it should be banned from all foods forever and ever....and ever...and ever and ever.  But seriously guys, this is bad.  In the last 5 or so years, food producers have been stripping their products of most/all trans fat (partially hydrogenated oil is the technical name for it).  However, nutritionists have been wise to the dangers of PHO for nearly 15 years now.  These dangers range from the obvious (Coronary heart disease, Increase of bad LDL cholesterol, Diabetes) to the lesser-known (Cancer, Liver Dysfunction, Infetility:-O).  Many health critics blame this one food additive for over 30,000 early deaths per year in the U.S. alone.  Thousands of heart attacks and billions spent in health care costs could be prevented by removing trans fat from all foods. Now, you may think that your body burns trans fat normally and that you can run it off the next morning.  NOPE!  Normal saturated/unsaturated fats are usually present in a sedentary person for around 18 days.  Trans-Fats are so wacky and comlicated that your body takes 51 DAYS to get rid of them! Basically, if you eat a can of Campbell's Chunky soup, you've just let 2.5 grams of trans fat on an artery clogging spree through your blood vessels for a month and a half.  SOUNDS LIKE FUN! You're probabaly wondering, why the hell would any runner wanna eat foods that would give them these illnesses? And why did we stuff our food full of this junk with or without knowing the dangers of it anyway?  Well, you see, here in America we don't give a free-flying damn about our health!  We want out foods to last long and taste good!  Since the early 1900's, food manufacturers have been using PHO because it makes non-perishable grocery items last a lot longer on the shelf.  These PHO's also have a higher melting point than healthier oils and thus are favored for baking cakes, cookies etc. And, of course, Trans fats are cheaper than their healthier counterparts.  Okay, so apparently, America's food producers are greedy bastards making profits of the suffering of their country's health, but you gotta love 'em!  I think it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cool that General Mills is spicing up their Hamburger helper products with cancer-causing artery clogging PHO!  Quaker Oatmeal (Yes people) really amazes me at how they can sneak some trans fat into something as supposedly healthy as fruit n' cream flavor variety oatmeal.  Congrats to Hot AND LEAN Pockets for decieving people into consuming PHO by using the sneaky little 0 grams trans fat PER SERVING trick.  But, honestly people, my heart belongs to the Old Spaghetti Factory.  As you may recall from the recent Olympics in Beijing, Chinese people think 8 is a lucky number.  So what does this have to do with an Italian restaurant such as The Old SHITghetti Factory? 8 is how many grams of trans fat PER SEVING they put in their sicilian garlic cheese bread.  An Italian restaurant with a possible Chinese superstition.  IRONIC TWIST OF THE CENTURY HERE!  Unless the CEO of TOSF can come up with a better excuse than this, he's going to be significantly responsible for the health of our nation taking a nice long relaxing trip up shit creek.  So how does one pull of the daunting task of avoiding this PHO bullshit?  It's simple.  When you're shopping at the grocercy store be sure to read the list of ingredients on the back of product packages.  Like our good ol' deceptive bastard friends at Hot Pockets, many food producers brag about having 0 grams trans fat per serving in their products.  They even list 0 grams of trans fat in the Nutrtion Facts.  But these two statements are truly inexcusable.  Basically, the FDA allows foods with 0-0.4 grams of trans fat per serving to listed as 0 grams trans fat on the Nutrtion Facts.  Let's give our food government three cheers for manipulating consumers into eating cheap, toxic crap!  That's why you'll always find me scanning the ingredient list on every single product I buy at the grocery store.  And as for restaurants?  Simply don't go to them.  We've heard about Olive Garden and other food franchises removing trans fat FRYING OILS from their foods but (Ah, the power of trans fat public deception bullshit) what about things like salad dressings and pie crusts? As for me, I've banned trans fats from going in my mouth.  I'm proud to say that I have gone well over 3 years without eating at McDonalds and that Subway is the only fast food joint I hang out at.  I really think it's odd to be a runner and eat poorly.  It doesn't make sense at all to participate in an activity that boosts your heath and then trun around and eat trans-fat filled Pizza Hut Pizza (Like my ATHLETIC club was doing on Monday night).  Well, I officially decare this rant about trans fat over and done with.  Of course, trans fat isn't the only crazy artificial shit us ignorant Americans stick in our food.  There a whole laundry list of goodies (Aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, sodium, etc.) that our food producers know damn well better stay out of what we eat. It's THEIR responsibility to make our groceries safe to eat.  So I now end this blog with a partially hydrogenated middle finger and some monosodium glutimated go screw yourselves to  all food corporations who just can't change their ways.

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